Reclaiming Our Vows
by Renai-chan
Summary: After Sirius had returned from Azkaban, he found that Remus hadn't welcomed him back with open arms. Now he's determined to win Remus back from his worst enemy. RLxSB
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Reclaiming our Vows  
**Author: **Renai-chan  
**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter does in no way belong to me nor do I claim in any way that it does. I am merely using the characters to fulfill my twisted imagination.  
**Genre:** Romance/Angst  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairings:** RLxSB, RLxSS  
**Summary:** After Sirius had returned from Azkaban, he found that Remus hadn't welcomed him back with open arms. Now he's determined to win Remus back from his worst enemy.  
**Authors' Notes:** I am generally a humor-loving girl. But when this idea popped into my head, I just couldn't let it go. I'll try my best to write a good angsty fic =)  
**Warnings: **SLASH, SLASH AND MORE SLASHY-SLASH-SLASHY GOODNESS ALL AROUND. Consider yourselves warned.

**Enjoy!**

Sirius fidgeted uncomfortably as he stood in front of a door that he knew led into a dingy apartment. No, he wasn't stuck up enough to say that he was uncomfortable because of the poor surroundings, such as the muggle hobo lying on the pavement as he went in or the cracked and peeling wallpaper in the dimly-lit, dank hallway. Azkaban had wiped him of any trace of snobbishness that came with being a Black. Besides, it would be rather hypocritical of him, considering he himself was not dressed to impress.

His once rugged good looks and rippling muscles were now replaced by an overgrowth of black stubble, gaunt and hollowed cheeks and a thin and haggard frame. He still wore the clothing prescribed by the Azkaban warden, seeing as the events of the past few weeks did not give him to opportunity to change or, at the very least, shower. The closest he came was a heavy rainstorm in the Forbidden Forest that he and Buckbeak had to endure. Dumbledore's sending him here would be a very welcomed relief and would give him the chance to get re-acquainted with the comforts of home.

Nevertheless, the nervousness he felt could not be willed away by the thoughts of a warm bath and good food.

With a tentative raise of his hand, his knuckled sharply rapped on the door. It wasn't even a moment later when the door opened, revealing the source of Sirius's discomfiture.

"Good evening, Sirius" Remus murmured. So softly, that Sirius had to strain his ears and watch the smaller man's lips to understand him. He nodded in reply but said nothing. They stood that way for quite a while, simply staring at each other and recollecting the memories of old times that they once happily shared before discarding them in favor of reality. Finally, Remus stepped aside to allow Sirius in. "Albus told me you will be coming. Please, make yourself comfortable." Sirius nodded once again and crossed the threshold.

The apartment was all that he predicted it to be. Small, dilapidated and shabby, despite Remus's apparent best efforts at keeping it neat and tidy. The entire place was just one room with an attached bathroom. The living room was also the bedroom as the couch folded out into a bed. The kitchen had only a small stove to cook, an old refrigerator and a sink to wash up. The dining table, within the same vicinity as the kitchen, was composed of only a small table and two chairs. The bathroom was hardly noteworthy; there was no bathtub, only a shower and a lavatory. Everything was sparsely furnished except for the only luxury Remus had. A tall shelf filled to the brim and overflowing with books of every sort.

"It's not much, but it's home" Remus shrugged, heading over to the table to clean up the empty cups of tea. Sirius noted that there were two and wondered if his friend had company over prior to his arrival. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked politely. Sirius shook his head.

"What about our h--?" he started to ask, but Remus quickly cut him off.

"It's gone, Sirius" the werewolf answered his unfinished question shortly. Sirius could guess with a decent amount of certainty that he should not be asking that question again anytime soon. After a moment of silence while Remus finished cleaning up, he headed over to the closet and pulled out a towel and fresh clothes. "You can use these. I imagine you're dying to change" he said while handing over the items. Sirius took them with another nod and headed into the bathroom to shower. As he shut the door, he didn't see Remus collapsing onto the dining chair and burying his face in his hands.

It had been three weeks since the incident at the Shrieking Shack and two weeks since the start of summer vacation. During that time, he and Buckbeak had been on the run from the ministry, for a long time taking refuge in the Forbidden Forest. Being an animagus, he could turn into a dog anytime he was threatened by a wild creature, having encountered a fair few while he was there. As an animal, he was under no such threat.

Finally, as the furor caused by his escape settled down, Dumbledore advised him to seek refuge with his fellow Marauder in a muggle neighborhood which was unlikely to be searched anytime soon. The ministry, after all, thought he was desperate to re-integrate with the wizarding world in order to resume his position as Lord Voldemort's most avid supporter and thus started their search in wizarding communities. They were all fools.

Sighing contentedly, he allowed the warm droplets of water run through his hair and caress his skin. Vaguely he wondered how long it would take him to regain his former appearance, if he ever could, but then dismissed the thought just as quickly as it came. There were more important things to be concerned with right now than just his looks; things such as finding out as much as possible what had happened while he was gone. Crisply clean clothes graced his frame after his shower and, once again, he sighed contentedly or, dare he say, happily.

Exiting the bathroom, he found Remus seated on the couch, curled up with a thick novel. Two cups of tea steamed on the nearby end table.

"May I?" the dog animagus requested, uncharacteristically politely, to which Remus nodded and scooted over, settling the book on the other end table closest to him. Sirius reached for the tea and passed one cup over and they sipped it in silence, glancing every now and then at each other, but for the most part, stared at the cracks in the wall opposite the couch. Sirius couldn't help but note the tension in the air. Never had he remembered their relationship to be as strained as this, not even when they had first met around 20 years ago.

20 years? Has it really been that long?

Sirius stole a glance at his friend. He noticed three slight scars over his cheeks and nose, as if a bear, or a wolf, had swiped him. They weren't there when he was sent to Azkaban, and he knew immediately they were from Moony. He noticed the graying hairs Remus had always possessed had now tripled in number as did the wrinkles on his brow and around his eyes. They gave him a tired and old look, well above his 30-odd years of age. He noticed the amber eyes that Sirius often found himself drowning in were dull and nearly lifeless. He noticed the lips that, when they were 16, he had claimed as his and his alone were no longer pink and full, but dry and chapped.

The war and the years following it had certainly taken a toll of the werewolf, but none of those characteristics made him any less beautiful in Sirius's eyes.

He took Remus's cup from his hands, despite soft protests, and set both drinks aside. He then drew closer to Remus and stroked his cheek gently. Remus's eyes slid shut and Sirius took that moment to draw closer and place a hesitant kiss on those lips he knew all too well. Both of Remus's hands were placed on the ex-convict's chest, but to the animagus's utter surprise, they pushed him away sharply.

"Sirius, I... I c-can't" Remus stuttered in defeat. He dropped his head and wrapped his arms around his frame. Sirius's eyes widened.

"Remus--"

"No, please..." the werewolf whispered, "You don't understand... It's been twelve years... We can't just pick up where we left off..." Sirius tilted his chin up to see wetness pooling around the amber eyes.

"We can try, Remmy... We can make this work again" he pleaded softly, brushing his thumb over the accumulating tears. Remus simply pulled his chin away, wiped his eyes and stood up, collecting the teacups.

"I'll have dinner ready after I take a shower. Help yourself with the books. I know they don't particularly appeal to you, but I'm afraid that's the only entertainment I can offer you in here" he said in a flat, monotonous voice but with an undertone of pleading. He dared not face his former lover in case he broke down again. Sirius did not reply but simply watched him fuss around the kitchen before striding into the bathroom with a towel and clothes in tow. They did not speak, not even glance at one another for the remainder of the evening. A considerable feat given that they were sharing a small flat and an even smaller bed.

*****

How was it? I hope you were intrigued and enticed enough to review =)


	2. Chapter 2

The next few days at Remus's flat were equally as tense as the first. Remus was as polite to him as any acquaintance Sirius had known in the Order, were any of them tasked to take him in for a while. They had breakfast together every morning, prepared by Remus, of course, and Remus would leave Sirius to entertain himself with books while he went to work as a shopkeeper in Knockturn Alley, a fact which Sirius had vehemently opposed once he had learned of it. But, as Remus pointed out, no one but those kinds of people would accept a werewolf and give him a job given what he was. Besides, it was that or starvation and homelessness. So, at the risk of being tagged even more of an evil-doer, Remus left Sirius to his own devices, only returning in the evening to have dinner that he, once again, prepared.

Sirius felt quite useless with the fact that he seemed like an invalid, needing Remus to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, working and all that. So often, he tried to help around the house by cleaning up. Once, he had tried cooking, but he only managed to create a dish unworthy of being called garbage, much less food. When Remus had gotten home that evening, he had uttered a soft laugh that didn't reach his eyes, sat down and ate it. After they were done, he made Sirius promise never to cook again. Sirius chuckled humorlessly and agreed.

From the first night alone, the animagus knew better than to try to force Remus into something he really didn't want to do. At least that's what he kept telling himself. Deep down inside, he knew he was hurt by his former lover's reaction to their kiss. He never again tried it on Remus. Instead, he found his attention shifted into other more pressing and immediate concerns upon the arrival of one Albus Dumbledore on his fourth night there.

"Good evening, Albus" came Remus's soft greeting from the doorway, very similar to the way he had greeted Sirius.

"Good evening to you, Remus. Sirius" Albus returned, the ever present smile on his face. Sirius offered him the cup of tea he intended to give to Remus as the headmaster sat down on the couch. To Remus, Sirius offered him own cup of tea, which the werewolf politely took.

"What brings you here?" Remus asked, sipping down the milk tea. He was pleasantly surprised, not only forgetting that Sirius knew exactly how he wanted his tea but, upon remembering, also realizing his former lover like tea the same way as he did. Albus turned to Sirius.

"I actually have a favor to ask of Sirius here" he answered. Sirius nodded, indicating to the old wizard to continue. "I hope you are aware that, for the past few years, your godson has been communicating to me his encounters and visions regarding Lord Voldemort." Sirius's eyebrows knotted together; he was quite unaware. Albus continued. "I do believe him when he tells me that Voldemort seems to be on the verge of a return, as I have my own sources. Death Eater activity is increasing ever since Peter escaped." The headmaster sipped his tea. The Marauders exchanged glances during the pregnant pause. "It seems to me that the ministry would like to remain ignorant and foolish by not taking the necessary precautions against his return. With regards to that, I have decided that the best course of action to protect our world is by resurrecting the Order of the Phoenix."

"Yes" came identical replies to a question that was unasked. Albus was highly amused and his twinkling eyes showed it.

"That was not the question I was going to ask" he informed them. Sirius let out a chuckle.

"You didn't have to, Albus. We would have said yes anyway. So what was it that you were going to ask?"

"It seems that I am need of headquarters for the resurrected Order" the older wizard started, "And I am aware that, as the last member of the Black family, you are entitled to calling Grimmauld Place your own." Sirius frowned in confusion.

"I can't be. I was disowned" he told his former headmaster.

"Ah, yes. But it seemed, upon your capture, you mother saw you as a true Black family member. She reinstated you as the heir of the Black family fortune and left everything to you. Especially after Regulus..." Albus trailed off and Remus looked away. A long silence passed while Sirius took in the information and mentally mourned for his brother. They may not have been the ideal siblings, but they were brothers nonetheless and, somewhere deep down, Sirius loved him.

"And I'm the only one left?"

"Both Walburga and Orion Black passed away in the years after the war, so, yes."

"Take it, its yours. I have no desire to return to that godforsaken place" Sirius muttered coldly, dismissing the thought of returning there with a cold wave of his hand. Albus however held up his.

"I do not wish to take it, merely to borrow it for meetings of the Order and such. As well as for a place for Harry to stay during the vacations maybe?" Sirius's eyes lit up. "With that regard, I do hope you would move back there. I'm afraid your house elves would respond to only a Black family member and we do want to make the place inhabitable, wouldn't we?"

"I guess so..." the animagus grumbled softly. Albus smiled and nodded.

"In that case, I best be off" he announced, putting down his finished cup of tea on the end table beside him and standing up. The Marauders followed suit and escorted the headmaster out. Before leaving, though, he said softly, "the first meeting will be during the weekend. By then, I am sure Molly and Arthur will have brought all of the children to stay." Then he properly apparated. Remus shut the door and took a seat on the couch. Sirius moved to pick up the teacups.

"When do you plan on going?" the werewolf asked, watching Sirius move about the kitchen.

"Albus said the weekend, right? Maybe tomorrow or on Thursday... I'm not particularly keen on returning, but I wouldn't want my godson stumbling on some dark stuff lying around" Sirius mumbled, more to himself that anyone else. "And I need some time to reacquaint myself with _Kreacher_, to make sure he cleans up properly and all." The name of the house elf was uttered in disgust, but Remus knew every story behind it.

"Okay" Remus replied with a soft smile. Sirius watched him longingly, barely able to mask the desire he felt to kiss those lips. He turned away and started scrubbing the teacups furiously.

"Why don't you come with me?" he asked casually, "There's more than enough room at the place and I'm sure you'd want to meet Harry and his friends again..." Remus watched his friend thoughtfully, weighing all pros and cons of the proposition.

"I'll drop by more than enough" he replied eventually. With Sirius's back turned, he missed the dejected look that crossed the pureblood's face. He did hear the 'hmm' Sirius murmured in response to him.

"Come with me tomorrow at the very least. I'm sure I could use some help getting the place suitable for Harry" Sirius offered instead, drying his hands on a nearby towel. The dog got himself ready for bed by brushing his teeth and slipping into a pair of pajamas that Remus had loaned him. Remus, meanwhile, unfolded the couch and readied the bed.

"Maybe I will" he smiled at his fellow Marauder, climbing in. With a nod, Sirius stowed away the meager belongings he had gotten from Remus and climbed in beside him. They glanced at each other for a moment before Remus mumbled a soft 'good night' and turned out the lights with a quick unspoken spell.

*****

"Kreacher!" Sirius yelled into the dusty hallway that had once been his home. Remus walked into the house behind him, coughing slightly as he kicked up some dust from tripping on the carpet.

"WHAT IS THAT FILTHY HALF-BREED MONSTER DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" came a sudden screech as the curtains covering the portrait of one Walburga Black flew open. Remus covered his ears and winced, both from the volume and from the words spoken about him. Sirius yelled at his mother to shut up before pointing the wand he borrowed from Remus at the painting and closing the curtains with a sticking charm.

"Master Black" a house elf sneered, appearing in front of them suddenly. Remus jumped back, slightly startled at the appearance of the withering creature. "You brought the werewolf" it noted, shooting a dirty look at Remus. Said werewolf winced and edged closer to Sirius.

"Shut up, vile creature! You will do well to remember that I am the master of this household and you shall not go around insulting those I choose to allow to live here!" Sirius thundered, towering over the small creature. The house elf slunk back and bowed in submission, although he did not lose the disgusted look in his eyes when he looked at Remus. "I see you haven't been doing your job while no one has been living here..." Sirius fingered the grime that had settled on the base of the frame of one painting.

"Kreacher is sorry, Master Black" Kreacher muttered, sounding very, very far from being sorry. Nevertheless, he beat his head against a nearby wall. Remus vaguely saw a brief flicker of satisfaction cross Sirius's face. He nudged his best friend to remind him of their purpose.

"I want this place cleaned and tidied this instant. Start with my bedroom and prepare one guest bedroom. After you have finished with those, you can proceed with the rest of the house. We shall be having guests by the weekend and I expect this place to be spotless by then" Sirius instructed. Kreacher nodded before apparating out of their sight. Sirius sighed and turned to Remus. "I'm quite sorry" he mumbled. Remus placed one hand on his shoulder and smiled comfortingly.

"Let's go ahead, yeah? What dark magic needs cleaning up first?" he asked, gesturing for Sirius to lead the way. Sirius smiled back and nodded, leading them into his father's study and they started working on removing dark spells around the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus had not spent the nights with him, leaving Sirius to wander the house and reminisce the memories of his childhood that he'd rather forget. He spent the entirety of one day in his bedroom, going through his old things. He smiled fondly at the posters and banners he had put up, happy that the sticking spells well... stuck. He selected suitable clothes from his closet that still fit, glad that there were some, and rifled through the letters and pictures of him and the other Marauders.

Occasionally, his tears would well up at a particularly fond memory, especially those of James and Lily's wedding and the birth of Harry, but only one picture truly made him cry. It was a picture of the five of them sometime after Harry's birth: Remus and Sirius in the middle, Lily to Remus's right with Harry in her arms and James to Sirius's left. Peter wasn't there that day. He didn't give a reason back then, but Sirius now knew exactly why.

Tossing the picture onto the study table, he wiped his eyes and left the room.

The next few days were spent exploring the rest of the house. He entered Regulus's room first. None of the items there he touched, without really knowing why, all except for a small, longish case which he found in the drawer of the study table. Opening it up, he found Regulus's wand, surprised that it was left there for anyone to take, without so much as a protective spell. He picked it up almost reverently and examined it.

With a small flick of his wrist, he murmured experimentally "_Wingardium Leviosa_." To his delight, the lamp on the desk rose slightly and hovered in the air. "This could be useful" he murmured to himself, pocketing the wand and walking out, decisively locking the door behind him.

He then walked into his parents' room. Well, it was technically his room now, considering he was the master of the house. Once inside, he used Regulus's wand to summon Orion's clothing from the walk-in closet. Sirius may have hated Orion and his beliefs while growing up, but there was no denying that Orion's attire was impeccable; it was the only thing Sirius admired him for. The animagus slipped out of the clothes he found in his room and pulled on those of his father's. It was a smart three-piece suit and Sirius found that it suited him well. _Accio_-ing his mother's clothes, he levitated them into the bathtub and promptly singed them down to a fine ash. He had no use for those and had no desire to dress any lady up like his mother.

With a few more flicks of his wrist, he pulled open the curtains to reveal the moonlight and removed every trace of his parents' memory from the room. He then slid experimentally on the king-sized bed and shut his eyes as sleep overtook him.

*****

On the day of Harry's arrival and the first Order meeting, Sirius spent the entire morning in the cellar. He did not know as many spells as he should have at his age, but those he did, he cast. He deduced that Remus was spending full moons somewhere that was not entirely suitable for him and thus decided that the Black manor was undoubtedly as good a place as any, if not better, to do so, given that the proper spells were in the right place. He also decided to enlist the help of Remus to put up more protective spells later on.

As soon as he stepped out into the dining room, which was adjacent to the steps leading to the kitchens below and, further on, the cellar, the fireplace lit up with bright green flames and a red-headed man stepped out. Sirius's wand was trained on him immediately, but the man simply bypassed it in favor of a hug and a "Sirius! By God!" Sirius's eyes widened as he recognized who it was. He stepped back and held out his hand, giving the man a polite, aristocratic smile.

"Arthur. A pleasure meeting you again." Arthur Weasley shook his hand earnestly before stepping back from the fireplace and allowing a pair of twins through. They were followed by a young girl with the same red-hair as Arthur. Another boy and a girl stepped through, who Sirius recognized to be Ron and Hermione. They both nodded politely and turned to watch Harry come through the green flames. A bright smile lit up Sirius's face, the first true smile he had in ages.

"Sirius" Harry greeted with a hug, which Sirius returned happily. They barely registered an older red-headed woman step through, but Sirius heard a small huff from her. Looking up, he recognized Molly Prewett... or rather Weasley.

"Molly" he greeted hesitantly, holding his hand out for her to shake. When she didn't, he added as a follow up "Sorry about Ron's leg back last May." Molly gave him a curt nod and shook his hand, satisfied with the apology but not entirely pleased.

"We should get settled in" she declared brightly to the children after introductions with Sirius were over and done with, "Will you be showing us to our rooms?" Sirius nodded and led the way around the house. Harry and Ron were situated in Sirius's old room while Hermione and Ginny, Molly and Arthur and Fred and George found their way into guest rooms. For once, Sirius was glad he had inherited a huge house with bedrooms for all of them and many more to spare. Feeling rather useless as everyone unpacked, he headed into the study, which he decided would be used as the Order's headquarters, and started preparing it for the arrival of the people Albus had invited to join.

He didn't realize that a fair amount of time had passed until he heard a soft "Pad" from the doorway. He with pleasantly surprised to see Remus standing there, with a hand held against the door frame as if to support himself. "Is this where the meeting will be held?" he asked with a smile. Sirius nodded back with a "yeah." The werewolf stepped into the room and with a nearly lazy wave of the wand muttered a silencing spell. "Can't have them hearing in on us, now can we?"

"Black" suddenly came an all-too-familiar voice from the doorway, dripping heavily with unmasked disdain. Sirius turned to the source and scowled darkly. He pounced on the man and aimed his wand at the prone throat dangerously.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing in my house, you evil _snake_?!" the pureblood snarled menacingly. Snape's eyes widened as he realized Sirius was not yet acquainted with his position as a spy for the Order. As far as the Black knew, he was still a member of Voldemort's army. Remus stared shell-shocked at his former lover, whose once repressed Black-like quality was starting to seep through his Gryffindor exterior which slightly worn away by his long stay in Azkaban.

"_Expelliarmus_!" someone yelled from the hallway and two pairs of arms dragged Sirius off Snape.

"Let go of me! I'll fucking kill him!" Sirius snarled, struggling against Arthur and a tall black man he didn't know. Snape brushed himself off as he stood up.

"You were supposed to explain everything to him, Remus" the potions master informed Remus sharply. The former DADA professor looked apologetic and walked over to Sirius to appease him.

"Explain to me what, Rem?"

"That Severus is on our side, Sirius" came the calm voice of Albus Dumbledore. Sirius turned to see him standing by Alastor Moody, the one who apparently disarmed him. The voice of the headmaster had a calming effect on the rage of the ex-convict as he stopped struggling. Finally, the two holding him were able to let go. "Shall we proceed inside so that we may start with our meeting?" Albus suggested diplomatically. Taking it as a cue, Remus led Sirius inside and purposely sat him away from Severus.

Quite a number of people found their way into the room and around the table Sirius had set up. Some of them, he knew. Many, he didn't. Arthur and Molly Weasley, Remus, Severus, Albus, Alastor, Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Dodge, Mudungus Fletcher, Hagrid and Emmeline Vance were among those he did recognize.

"Introductions shall be for later, I am afraid. For the moment, let us report on the most recent Death Eater activity spotted" Albus said and gestured to Alastor. Each one who had their input delivered their piece. As of the moment, nothing much was happening. Simply some meetings between two or three known Death Eaters, nothing more. Even Severus, who had direct contact with the Dark Lord, only reported that Peter was researching ways to resurrect him, scoffing that it would take the rat about three more years to find the right potion and brew it correctly.

"Thank you everyone for that most valuable information" Albus declared, signaling the end of the meeting. Until a pink-haired girl spoke up.

"Is now the time for introductions? Because I would certainly like to know more about the Death Eater in our midst." Everyone knew who she was referring to, and it definitely was not Severus. Sirius shot her a deadly glare which she returned, quite unfazed.

"As everyone may know, this is Sirius Black. He was a member of the original Order of the Phoenix and is one of its most loyal and skilled members" Albus started, "As of recent events, the ministry has well-publicized information that he was, and still is, Lord Voldemort's right hand and most trusted ally, but when have we ever listened to what the ministry says when we know so, so much better." The twinkle in his eye drew soft chuckles. "As I trust Severus, I also trust Sirius. If you trust me, I believe you will have no problem getting along with Sirius." Sirius scoffed lightly at Albus's declaration of trust for Severus. "Remember that this is his house, which he has graciously loaned us, and I expect you to treat him with the same manner and courtesy we all treat each other."

"Thank you, Albus" Sirius murmured. To this, they ended the meeting and started outside toward the parlor where Kreacher had set out food and drinks at Sirius's command. The children were already there, scarfing down the treats they could get their hands on and playing various games.

"Sirius, my boy" Alastor called. Sirius had been one of his better candidates for an auror position before tragedy struck and the bond they had shared as part of the first order survived the trial of time. Sirius turned to him, smiling warmly, and wrapped him in a hug. "This is Kingsley Shacklebolt, one of the best aurors in the country" Alastor introduced the black man who had restrained Sirius earlier. Sirius shook his hand respectfully. "And this is my apprentice, Nymphadora Tonks." Sirius's eyes widened at the pink-haired girl who had spoken up earlier.

"Tonks? As in Andromeda and Ted Tonks?"

"I know who you are. You're my mother's cousin" Tonks answered, eyes narrowed, "That doesn't mean I trust you, though. The only Black who has gained my trust is my mother." Sirius stared at her thoughtfully for a while, before holding out his hand to shake.

"Then I shall try my best to earn it" he smiled genuinely. Tonks shook his hand, warming up only very slightly. Another series of introductions were made between Sirius and the newer members of the Order. They seemed slightly perturbed, given the news about him, but nonetheless, they made an effort to accept him. After all, Severus was a confirmed Death Eater and they trusted him, didn't they? When everything had settled down, though, and everyone was busy catching up and eating, Sirius became aware that his best friend was missing. He walked back toward the hallway adjacent to both the parlor and study but stopped when he heard voices.

"And when do you plan to tell him?" came Snape's voice.

"Later, later, Sev." There was no mistaking Remus. Intrigued and quite a bit annoyed, Sirius leaned closer, straining his hearing to listen to what they were saying. "I can't tell him now, the children and everyone else are about. He might make a scene."

"Your excuses, Remus, they are tiring. You were supposed to have told him while he was still living with you."

"Severus, please understand..."

"I try to, Remus, but every day I grow weary of knowing that you belong to him that day. I sometimes wonder... when you are ever going to be mine..." Silence followed, punctured by soft moans, most likely coming from Remus. Sirius's eyes widened beyond proportion; so much, that it was almost comical.

"Sirius?" Arthur called. Sirius turned to him in a daze as Remus and Severus entered the parlor inconspicuously. Almost unconsciously and in a quick flurry of motion, he grabbed Remus by the front of his robes and slammed him against the wall, well off the floor. Severus drew his wand almost immediately, but Sirius was faster. He aimed his wand at Severus once again while he pinned Remus against the parlor wall with the other hand. The aurors present in the room advanced on him immediately, Tonks in the forefront.

"Let them go, Black!" she yelled.

"Shut up!" Sirius yelled back, before returning his attention to Remus. The werewolf was unnaturally calm while everyone else seemed frazzled. Molly stood protectively in front of the children, restraining Harry from nearing his godfather. "How could you?" Sirius asked pleadingly, "And with Snape?" Remus gazed at him directly in his eyes, choking down his tears and forcing a calm demeanor.

"You are scaring everybody, Sirius. They are starting to think you are the murderer you're not..." he said. Sirius dropped his wand absently to grip the collar of Remus's robes with both hands. Behind the animagus, Severus motioned for the aurors to drop their stance.

"How could you?" he asked again, pressing his head against Remus's chest. The soft placement of the hand on his shoulder caused Sirius to jerk his head up. "How could you _betray_ me with the likes of that fucking snake?!!!" Remus closed his eyes and knitted his eyebrows together.

"You weren't there--"

"I was in prison for a crime that I did not commit!!! How is that my fault?!"

"He was there for me when you weren't" Remus steeled himself, looking directly into Sirius's eyes. With Sirius's scream, every glass object in the room exploded.

"YOU ARE _**MY**_ HUSBAND!!!"


	4. Chapter 4

"YOU ARE _**MY**_ HUSBAND!!!" Sirius screamed. Raw, savage power exploded from him, sending invisible shock waves through the room and shattering every glass object in it. Kingsley wisely threw a shielding spell over Harry and the others to protect them from flying glass and covered his face with his arm to protect himself. Around the room, everyone else managed to put up their own sort of protection and none were hurt, save for Remus who had a small cut on his cheek. His gaze never wavered, though, as he stared at Sirius.

"Husband?" came a soft questioning voice from the middle of the room and both men turned to Harry briefly before looking back at one another.

"I would have no longer been..." Remus finally answered quietly, "But there were papers you needed to sign..." Sirius went pale as everyone shared mixed looks with each other. They, particularly the more senior members of the group, knew that they should give the couple privacy, but the events that were unfolding were quite arresting that even Albus was watching with rapt fascination. It was akin to some of the more complicated muggle TV dramas, although the events that lead up to this particular point in time were much, much darker.

"You-- You're asking for a _divorce_?!" Sirius cried incredulously after he had regained his composure. Remus absently wiped the blood dripping from the cut off his cheek but otherwise said nothing. "My best friend and his wife die! Their killer manages to avoid death or, at the very least, imprisonment! I had the misfortune of being blamed with their deaths and those of the _traitor_ and the muggles he killed to boot! I spend _twelve years_ in Azkaban! TWELVE YEARS! And when I finally escape, my husband, the one person I expected to _be there for me_ wants a **DIVORCE**?!!!" Sirius let out a sarcastic bark of laughter. "What a charmed life I have been living!"

"Don't you DARE talk to me about having a shitty life!!!" Remus suddenly yelled. Sirius quieted down, but he still scowled. "I go on a bloody Order mission to recruit werewolves for our fucking cause and when I get back, James and Lily are dead and so was Peter. My husband was being hauled to Azkaban for killing them, leaving me with nothing. Nothing! I have no fucking parents, siblings or any other relative. The only friends I have _ever_ had were dead and you were busy rotting away in Azkaban!"

"Oh poor you. Are you now going to start arguing that your father is better than my father?" Sirius muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. Remus punched him squarely on the jaw and had to be restrained from doing anything more.

"You spent twelve years in Azkaban knowing you were innocent. I spent _every fucking month_ of those twelve years out here knowing you weren't" he hissed instead glaring venomously at his husband who was nursing his jaw. At the mention of 'month,' though, Sirius paled once again, realizing the implications of Remus's words. "Now tell me who has been living a charmed life."

"Re--"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck UP, Black!" Remus seethed. "Every fucking month I nearly _died_." Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Remus's next words halted him in his tracks. "But you know what's worse? Every fucking day, I wish I _did_."

*****

Sirius apparated himself directly into the Shrieking Shack after Remus had left. He didn't want to see anyone's stares of pity or hear words of comfort; they wouldn't help quell the pain he felt. He wanted to stab himself for being so selfish and forgetting about Remus during the full moon. Moony was wild and uncontrollable, and he hurt Remus when he couldn't hurt anyone else. He got even worse when Remus was feeling sad or angry or confused, and Sirius needed to know how bad that first full moon was after he had been incarcerated.

He knew Poppy Pomfrey would know. She had always taken care of Remus while they had been at Hogwarts and he was sure that she would continue to take care of him after he had left. She often acted as the mother Remus lacked. Sirius shifted his form into Padfoot's and darted through the tunnel, heading toward the Hogwarts castle's infirmary.

Truthfully, he didn't know if Poppy would be there at this time. It was, after all, summer vacation and there were no classes. He navigated his way around the castle easily, surprised that he still knew the way. Then again, with the number of times he had visited the infirmary, he doubted even a dementor's kiss would make him forget. Peeking, through the window, he saw the medi-witch sipping tea by the window. Without caring if she knew of the truth about James and Lily's deaths or not, he transformed back into a human and nearly ran through the door.

"Poppy" he whimpered, falling to his knees in front of her. She was flabbergasted to say the least, spilling her tea onto her lap. She dropped her cup which smashed on the floor with a small tinkle as she scooped up the pureblood. "I... I need to know about the first full moon after they died..." Sirius begged softly, holding onto her shoulders like a life-line.

"Mr. Black" Poppy murmured, not really believing it was him. After years and years of failed pranks, hexes from enemies and full moons, the Marauders had become four of her most frequent patients, though one was more frequent than the other three. Nevertheless, she had grown quite fond of them and had subconsciously developed a motherly bond with them. Even if Albus hadn't told the staff about the truth behind the deaths of James, Lily and Peter, which he had, she still would not have believed that Sirius killed them. She hugged him gently and allowed him to sit while she fetched another cup of tea.

"Poppy, I need to know what happened on the full moon after James and Lily di--" Sirius choked slightly, unable to utter the words, "After they passed..." Poppy frowned sadly.

"I don't think you would want to, Mr. Black" she replied.

"Listen, Remus was asking for a divorce with me over Snape. He told me it's because I wasn't there..." Sirius put the cup down on the window sill. "I need to know..." The medi-witch sighed heavily and looked out of the window. It was with great effort that she spoke again.

"Even I don't want to remember it. But try as I might, I could never forget..." she pursed her lips, "I wasn't there for the most part of it, but Albus filled me in while he watched over Remus as he recovered in here.

"Remus came back from that dreadful assignment Albus gave him. Oh, I know I shouldn't judge werewolves by what there are, but undoubtedly there are good werewolves and there are bad ones. Many of those Remus had seen were very unpleasant. In any case, at the Order's headquarters, he was informed by Alastor of what had happened and, from what I heard, he went home and locked himself up for days. Albus, of course, immediately went to see him as soon as he could, which was about three days after, I believe. When he got there, though, the house was decimated and Remus was nowhere to be found.

"Fortunately, that evening was the night of the full moon and Remus had some sense remaining to lock himself up to keep from hurting anyone but himself. Without the place you had set up for him to transform, another option was the ministry's facilities which he utilized instead. I would have preferred it if he reused the Shrieking Shack instead, but clearly he wasn't thinking straight then. Albus briefly spoke with him there about nothing important but left as the transformations started.

"The morning after was..." Poppy hiccuped, "...horrendous to say the least..."

"What happened?" Sirius whispered.

"Remus was situated near other werewolves, although they were in different cages. The others were all able to walk out of there unassisted with only the usual scars they tend to gain. But Remus... he was barely alive... Ministry workers who have worked there for quite some time claimed never to have seen anything as violent as he had been that night. Nearly every bone in his body was broken. Many of his organs were damaged, some quite severely. His skin, nearly every inch of it, was covered with wounds and, by that time, he had lost over half of his blood supply. The ministry workers were contemplating on disposing of his body; they said he clearly wouldn't survive. It was fortunate that Albus was there.

"As you can imagine, bringing him to St. Mungo's was out of the question. Before he could be properly attended to and healed, he would have been dead. He would never get the attention he needed if only for the reason that he was a werewolf. So Albus brought him here..." Poppy wrung her hands, a gesture Sirius wasn't sure she was capable of. Never had he seen the nurse bothered or frazzled by injuries. "He spent two weeks in a coma and, when he woke up, he spoke no words but cried even when he could shed no more tears.

"It was heart breaking, but I only heal physical injuries. I couldn't heal his broken heart" she murmured, "The months... no, years after that were not as bad, but they were definitely much, much worse than I have ever seen when he was a student here." Sirius choked back the lump in his throat.

"And Severus? How does he fit in?"

"Severus is one of the best potions masters Hogwarts, and I daresay the wizarding world, has ever seen. When Damocles invented the Wolfsbane Potion a few years ago, Remus couldn't, for the life of him, brew it, but Severus had little trouble. You see, it is a very complicated potion which even the best wizards may have trouble with, but it allows Remus to keep his mind when he changes. For this reason, Albus asked Severus to do it for him every month to keep Remus from further injuring himself on top of all the other injuries he had accumulated over the past years. He had never really gotten the chance to fully heal them. Now, I don't know the details, but I believe they grew closer because of those monthly visits until they eventually got to where they were."

Sirius chewed on the insides of his cheek. He took the cup of cold tea off the window sill and took a sip. He favored Poppy with an hour or two of light conversation, avoiding the topic they had just discussed. When it came time for him to leave, she hugged him warmly and, after pulling him down, kissed him on the top of his head.

"You take care now" she smiled softly, "And don't worry. Everything will work out for the best. I'm sure of it." Sirius simply nodded and made his way home.


	5. Chapter 5

When he eventually came to his senses, he realized that two weeks had been wasted moping around the house, snapping at the odd annoyance he found in whomever had happened to be visiting that day and generally making a bully of himself, especially toward Kreacher (not that the house elf was doing anything to lessen his master's irritation with him).

More importantly, he realized that his godson had been living with him for two weeks now, an idea he never could quite give up on even while he was still in Azkaban. And during those two weeks, he had not done anything proactive toward furthering their relationship as godfather and godchild. This situation had to be remedied fast if he were to gain Harry's trust and love.

He found the boy on the floor of the library that evening, bent over pieces of parchment which Sirius assumed were the makings of homework. As James's carbon copy, it was surprising to say the least; the stag never did have a particular affinity for libraries. In fact, James was downright allergic to them. Quite an ironic story considering their pranks and other Marauding activities drew them to Hogwarts's more often than necessary. Then again, Harry had to inherit _something_ from his mother other than those eyes of his.

"May I join you, Harry?" A pair of brilliant green eyes looked up at him questioningly.

"Oh, Sirius" Harry greeted with a small smile. As he started to pull himself up, Sirius gestured for him not to do so and, instead, plunked down beside the boy, tucking both legs under himself. He quickly glanced over the pieces of parchment scattered on the floor.

"I'll have to get used to seeing you studying" he started, mimicking Harry's smile, "I hardly ever saw James doing any school-related work and, with you being who you look like... well, I'll need some time getting used to it." Harry nodded absently, watching his godfather lean back on both hands and closed his eyes wistfully. Minutes passed before either spoke again. Both were quite content with getting used to the feel of having something akin to a father-son relationship, or at the very least, a proper familial relationship. "So what are you working on? I may not remember much, but I'd like to try to help you."

"Transfiguration" Harry sighed, "McGonagall." Sirius laughed jubilantly, giving Harry a fairly good idea of who his godfather had truly been prior to his time in Azkaban.

"Minnie's still teaching, is she?" the animagus grinned. "Then again, I shouldn't be so surprised. She'd probably still be teaching even after Hogwarts's walls crumble." To this, Harry gave his own chuckle of agreement. Sirius smiled at the reaction before pulling Harry's books toward him to take a gander. "So, what is it this time? Match to needle? Mouse to snuffbox? Tortoise to teapot?"

"Hedgehog to pincushion actually" Harry shrugged, waving casually to the hedgehog cowering under a chair. He was surprised that Sirius laughed again when he clearly did not remember saying anything funny. The animagus wiped a small tear of mirth from his eye before explaining:

"Sorry, private joke... Minerva always did have a great sense of humor. Nevertheless, would you like me to help you?" When Harry smiled eagerly, Sirius pulled out his wand. "As I said, I may not remember much, but I'll try to help you with what I can." He gently wrestled the creature onto his lap and flicked his wand and muttered an incantation. Instantly, the hedgehog's shape started to shift and it transformed into a red and yellow pincushion, complete with pins. "The pins get you extra points" Sirius grinned proudly and flicked his wand again. The pincushion started changing colors, from red and yellow to blue and green and back again. "That's just to show off" the ex-convict winked.

"Blimey. You must have been the best at school" Harry's eyes widened as he watched the pincushion's colors change according to the spectrum.

"Oh no, never the best" Sirius smiled, this time more sadly that Harry had ever seen him do, "That's what you get when you have James Potter and Remus Lupin for best friends." Harry tilted his head to one side in question. "James never touched a book in his life if a teacher told him to, and he made damn certain I never did, too." Sirius shut his eyes and leaned back on his hands, basking in the memory of his best friend, "And Remus had his nose shoved so far into all the books in the library that I was sure he was secretly getting off on them. With a friend who loves studying that much, you can be certain that no matter how intelligent you were, you would never surpass him."

"Or her. Professor Lu--" Harry stopped for a moment and amended, "Remus sounds quite a lot like Hermione." They both looked down at the pincushion then Sirius absently instructed Harry how to turn it back. Mildly pleased now that Harry had some coaching, the hedgehog settled itself into Sirius's lap. "So... husband, huh?" Harry toyed with his wand absently as he treaded carefully on a subject he had long since wanted to ask. Sirius looked at Harry momentarily and sighed.

"He _was_" he then replied, slightly startling himself with the bitterness he heard in his own voice. "It was a long time ago. With all the things that happened the way they did, this was bound to happen... eventually." His tone, though, clearly indicated that he believed and desperately hoped otherwise.

"Tell me about it?" the younger Gryffindor asked casually. Sirius shrugged.

"We were young, and you were just born. James and Lily had this... _aura_ about them that we couldn't describe. For lack of a better term, we could say they were blissfully happy" the older man smiled softly, "And Remus and I... well, they inspired us. I can't describe how we felt during those days, but what we felt for each other was very, very strong. It was enough to purchase four plane tickets to the United States to get hitched. If there's something America did right, it was legalizing gay marriage earlier than any other nation. We couldn't apparate, you see, for fear that something would happen to you, and James..." Sirius coughed slightly, attempting to cover up a small mumble of 'and I,' "was morbidly curious about airplanes, so we jumped on one and found our way there. You should have seen Remmy and Lily, they were hysterical with laughter while James all but screamed at take off." He chuckled sadly again. "Then we got married and came back here. I don't remember much about what happened because it was definitely one of the happiest, if not _the_ happiest day of my life."

"I don't understand... Why don't you remember it?"

"Ah, Harry, I'm afraid that's what Azkaban, or more specifically, dementors do to you. They take the memories you treasure most and destroy them, leaving you with but bits and pieces you could barely string together" Sirius's eyes darkened slightly.

"Do you still... love him?" Harry asked.

"I'd be lying if I said no. But it's complicated, Harry. I wouldn't expect you to understand the choices he and I make."

"I want to help you win him back" the boy sat up, facing his godfather directly, "You _can_ win him back. You have to. He deserves much better than that slimy, egotistical git, Sna--"

"Harry!" Sirius admonished with a frown. The boy quieted, his eyebrows furrowed. "Look, I'm glad that you're accepting of our relationship... most people aren't, especially after they find out Remus's true nature. However, there are things that should be left as is. I know you hate Sniv-- _Severus_. I mean, who doesn't? But Remus and I have to work things out on our own, even if it means we have to go our separate ways. You see, part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, especially when the person you love has found happiness in another. How can I claim to love him if I only thrust him into misery?"

"I guess you're right..." Harry acquiesced. Sirius smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry too much about us. Just know that I am happy you and I have time to spend with each other" he hugged his godson briefly and ruffled up the already messy hair. Harry scowled playfully at that. "I'll leave you to your work then, shall I? I believe I may have more chores to do around this godforsaken place" the animagus stood up with a playful grin and headed toward the door. He gently shut it behind him and started toward his bedroom, intent on mulling over the words he told Harry. It surprised him how truthful that speech was. Before that conversation, he had absolutely no intent of letting Remus go quite easily, but after that, he realized that he... well, he _had_ to.

"I misjudged you..." came a soft voice from behind him. It was barely audible, but it had Sirius stunned in mid-step. He slowly turned to find Remus standing a little ways beyond the door he had just come out of. The werewolf came closer. "I'm sorry."

"For what, Remus? You have nothing to apologize for" Sirius replied before the smaller man could say anything further, but Remus simply shut him up by covering his mouth with his hand.

"I do, Sirius, so please listen to me first before you say anything.

"It wasn't fair of me to pin all of the hardships I encountered these past few years on you. It wasn't your fault Peter betrayed us. It wasn't your fault I was away on a mission. It wasn't your fault James and Lily-- hush, listen-- It wasn't your fault James and Lily died. It wasn't... isn't your fault I'm a werewolf and it wasn't your fault that you weren't there for me during the full moons.

"After all the years we spent together, I thought I knew you inside and out, but you're no longer the loud, obnoxious, big-headed--"

"If this is an apology, I fail to see the part where it makes me feel better" Sirius managed to get out with a wry smile. Remus replaced his hand over his husband's mouth.

"You've grown up, Sirius. We've grown up. We should have done so together, but I'm afraid circumstances did not permit it. I apologize for believing you were still the boy I knew from school. I should have seen you for the man you have become. I... I'm not sure I we can repair our relationship... But I ask you to permit me to still be a part of your life as your friend." Remus finally released Sirius to allow him to speak. The latter cupped one of the werewolf's cheeks.

"That's more that I could have asked for, Remmie. I'd rather have you in my life as merely a friend... Even if it's to see you with someone else, knowing I can never have you... I'd gladly accept to be just a friend than not to have you in my life at all..." he murmured. Remus smiled sadly and started to step back, but Sirius wrapped one arm around his waist and halted him. "I... I have one last request... as your husband... Before I release you to... _him_" Sirius let the word slide off his tongue like venom. Remus frowned ever so slightly at the tone, but dismissed it nevertheless. After all, how could one expect a person to be accepting of the other person who had stolen his heart?

"Yes?"

"Kiss me" Sirius answered. But as Remus nodded and drew closer, Sirius stopped him by stepping back. "Not here" he explained, "If this is to be my last kiss from you, I want it to be the happiest memory I will ever have." He took his husband's hand and led him upstairs and into the master bedroom. Though no longer as dark as it once had been, it was still quite dreary as the light from the windows and balcony doors failed to reach some of the areas of the room. Sirius shut the curtains and lit some candles with a few waves of his wand. He had always loved how Remus looked under the soft golden glow of flames and now was no exception. The graying strands of hair were momentarily dyed gold and the amber eyes Sirius revoked each and every day in Azkaban shimmered.

No words were spoken... no words _could_ be spoken as they stood in the middle of the room, facing each other. Without any spoken forewarning, Sirius stepped closer and gathered Remus into his arms. They never broke eye contact until the very last moment when Sirius dipped his head to catch the quivering lips of his husband in his and both of their eyes shut of their own accord.

Shards of broken memories of their passionate encounters pervaded Sirius's mind, but he found a new one blossoming in their midst. It overshadowed them all, and the pureblood found himself no longer morose at the loss of his once-happiest memories. Knowing that it was not to last, though, he hesitantly and regretfully started to pull away.

To his surprise, Remus drew his arms up around his neck and held him firmly in place, their lips still connected. Despite the bewilderment he felt, the animagus did not waste the opportunity. He slid his tongue over Remus's lower lip in a gesture, he knew by heart, would guarantee entrance into the moist cavern. Indeed, the werewolf moaned softly and parted his lips as his tongue moved to greet Sirius's. They battled furiously for dominance but, before long, Sirius had gained the upper hand. His arms around his husband's waist tightened further and he started moving towards the bed, forcing Remus to walk backwards. Once the back of his knees touched the edge of the bed, Remus allowed himself to be lowered.

Sirius dared not part their lips, for fear that Remus would regain his senses and push him away. Nor did he allow Remus any opportunity to rethink his actions. At that moment in time, Sirius clung to every happening like an impoverished man would to every knut thrown his way. Their kisses were frenzied, their hands frantic, their bodies heated.

Even if it was only for tonight, even if it was for the very last time, Sirius and Remus reveled in their wistfully amorous reunion and rekindled the passion that once graced their relationship.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the late, late update. I've been so busy with so many other things. Hope this will make up for it though. I'll be getting started on the next few chapters in a short while. =)

Reviews are always, always, ALWAYS welcome =) Much love =)

*****

Living with Harry, even in such a desolate house as Grimmauld Place, had been a remarkably grand idea that Sirius was surprised he hadn't thought of it himself. That was his opinion of the matter up until he realized Harry wouldn't be actually _living with him_ during the rest of the year when school rolled around. After the first of September came and went, Sirius found himself resenting more and more his decision to return to the place where he lived the childhood he so wanted to forget.

A recent discovery he made, on one particularly bleak day when no other person was around the house, was that he admired his father for more than just his clothes. He chanced upon this discovery when, in the study, he found a hidden door that housed a set of stairs leading downwards. He followed the stairs down, wary of dangers that may be lurking about; he wouldn't put it past his father to have set up traps and wards. He encountered none, however, and was faintly surprised to find an extensive collection of wines displayed in the dimly-lit cellar. From then on, he made it his duty to evaluate each and every bottle by quickly consuming it. Needless to say, the Order members who visited often rarely saw him sober.

Sirius would have begged to differ, as he found himself sober quite a lot of times, most especially when communicating with Harry or if Remus were around, which was just as often as any other member. He also knew that once a meeting came up, such as the one in the next two days, he would definitely keep his stash away then. But then, the day before the meeting, an owl came for him, and he found himself unable to keep his resolve to remain sedate.

He pressed his forehead to the cool surface of the kitchen counter top. In the past few days, he'd been finding himself in this room more often than any other in the house, even his own bedroom. It may be due to the fact that he didn't have a single childhood memory of being in the kitchens, and that was as good a reason as any. As one of the "noblest" families in the wizarding world, the Black family had a whole legion of house elves at their command and thus, none of them, most especially the heir of the Black family fortune, had neither the desire nor the business dealing with something as meager as preparing dinner.

The animagus barely lifted his head enough to take another swig of the vintage Merlot like a drunk would to poor-quality whiskey. It partially amused him as he imagined his father's reaction to how he consumed the valuable wines. Otherwise, he could barely care just as long as the drink served its purpose of getting him utterly plastered. In his other hand, he held the source of his displeasure seemingly uncaring but inwardly furious, miserable and dejected.

A vague opening and shutting of a door registered in his head, but he dismissed it altogether in favor of another swig. Most of his comrades lectured him half-heartedly about his drinking but otherwise let him be.

That was until a hand stole his bottle away and hauled him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Hey!" he cried, batting the hand away and reaching for his stolen good. Tonks simply held it out of reach, the drunken ex-convict posing her no problems whatsoever. She, in turn, received a menacing glare which was promptly ignored.

"This is enough, Sirius. I've had quite enough of your drinking" she started. The glare never wavered.

"What's it to you? I haven't done anything to inconvenience you" the dog tried reaching for the bottle again and, upon failing, re-took his seat at the counter. "_Accio_ Merlot" he murmured and gave a smug smirk as Tonks gave a tiny squeak when the bottle flew out of her hand and into Sirius's. This time, she was the one who gave a hard glare. The metamorphmagus moved to take the seat beside him.

"Drowning yourself in liquor isn't helping you any" she pointed out. Sirius simply snorted. "I know, I know. I'm probably not the best person to be telling you off, but, hey? Maybe shared blood counts for something?" Sirius didn't respond.

No, he wasn't being mean to her at all. He happened to mean every word when he told her he would try his best to win her trust and, although he couldn't honestly say that he'd taken proactive steps to doing so, he still wanted to. Thankfully, after all her visits to Order headquarters to give her updates on Ministry workings, she had picked up on where he lacked.

He thought hard about whether or not he should tell her about his most recent misfortune.

"You wouldn't understand" he finally decided, "You know nothing about love, little girl." Tonks snorted disdainfully.

"One, you sound like a bad romance movie. A _very_ bad romance movie. Two, I am not that 'little' to not know about love" she shot back, completing her statement with little air quotes.

"Age has nothing to do with knowing about love" Sirius murmured, strangely wisely, "I was sixteen when I fell in love. Haven't fallen out of it yet." He took another swig while Tonks said nothing. He turned to her to stare for a long while and, when she finally felt uncomfortable enough to ask why, he pushed the piece of paper toward her before turning back to his drink. "I'm sure you know he's asking for a divorce. I think we made that quite clear just a few short weeks ago when we caused that scene after our first meeting. Well, it's finally down on paper." He took a long drink from his bottle and chucked it into the trash bin before _Accio_-ing a new one. Tonks scanned the document briefly, glossing over most of the details. She took note, however, of Remus's neat signature and the blank space where Sirius was supposed to affix his.

"You do realize that this is still up to you. You can refuse to sign this and look for some other way to win him back." The animagus barked in false amusement.

"That is nearly exactly the same thing Harry told me just a few days ago" he said to her, "You know what I told him? I told him that I wouldn't. I told him if I did that, then I shouldn't dare claim that I love Remus." He paused, then added "Not necessarily in those exact words, of course, but you pretty much get the idea." He calmly took back the document from Tonks and laid it flat in front of him, a considerable feat considering he hadn't stopped to take a breather from drinking since yesterday evening. "Never mind me, he's been through so much and he deserves so much more than what he's been dealt with. Have you seen him? His place? His JOB, if you can even call it that? Because of what he is, he'd never receive what he truly deserves. James and I made sure that we corrected that injustice. But, without us, who would?

"Apparently, these last few years, Snape somewhat did. Now, don't get me wrong, Remus's love for him doesn't not change, or even lessen, the fact that I hate his guts to hell and back. However, if he's taking care of Remmie, if he makes him happy, who am I to keep that from him?"

There was a pause when no sound passed between them, but, soon enough, the older of the two broke the silence.

"I am no one, Dora" Sirius hissed. With a wandless, unspoken spell, the bottle in his hand transfigured into a quill and an inkwell. He grabbed the quill harshly and, on the space above his typed name, scrawled his barely-legible signature. It was a mere remnant of his once graceful and elegant writing, such as was everything in his life. With a murmur more to convince himself than anyone else, he declared with finality:

"No one."


	7. Chapter 7

He made all the right sounds at exactly the right times. He performed all the right actions at the moments when they were most expected. His body responded perfectly to each and every one of his lover's touches. And yet his mind could not be persuaded to stray from its current line of thinking towards concentrating on the activity he was currently engaged in.

His relationship with his soon-to-be-ex-husband and his current lover was indeed a strange one, although not completely inconceivable. He had betrayed Sirius with one of the pureblood's worst enemies, but they were still able to agree that they could remain friends. On the same night wherein they came to that agreement, he had betrayed his current lover by sleeping with his husband. Then afterwards, he could no longer forget the events of that evening, and he all but admitted that he could no longer think of his husband as just a friend.

A lesser mind would have gone crazy. Remus simply chose to remain in denial about the feelings for Sirius that had resurfaced upon their encounter a few nights before.

He let out a long, low moan as Severus slowly traced his fingers down his neck, his breastbone and his stomach, while the spy's lips remained attached to his neck, suckling at the sensitive flesh found there. The fingers continued their path down the line of hair that started just below his navel and towards the tawny tuft between his legs before finally settling on his alert erection.

"If it weren't so characteristic of you, I would probably have scolded you for thinking too much" Severus murmured softly, bringing his face up to look into Remus's eyes. The werewolf murmured an even softer apology before drawing Severus in to grace his lips with a soft kiss that gradually grew deeper as the seconds passed. Severus grasped the back of Remus's neck with one hand and delved between his cleft of his buttocks with the other, earning him a heated moan from the over-stimulated werewolf. "Tell me what you want" he whispered, prodding the entrance he found there. Remus moaned loudly and arched up against his lover, pressing their bodies together. In return, Severus ground his hips against Remus. As one of his probing fingers slipped into his lover, the werewolf gasped audibly and cried:

"Oh, Merlin! Fuck me, Sirius!"

Both gyrating bodies froze as the name escaped Remus's lips. Amber eyes widened dramatically as Remus realized his error, but the lack of movement from his lover kept him from making his own move. Merely seconds passed before Severus eventually did. It could have been hours and they wouldn't have known the difference.

Severus snatched his hands away and grabbed his wand. As he stood up, he magically dressed himself and stalked out of the door. He made sure to slam it hard enough to splinter the wood before apparating away. He glanced not even once at Remus's way. If he had done so, he would have seen his lover slam his head back against the pillow and throw one arm over his eyes, cursing himself with every expletive in every language he knew.

*****

The two men were as different as the moon and the stars and yet both Sirius and Remus felt equally apprehensive and eager for the second official Order of the Phoenix meeting as they mentally and physically prepared themselves for it. They had the exact same reason for feeling the way they did, which was confronting their soon-to-be-former lovers, and they had spent the night before in identical ways, namely getting utterly and completely sloshed. As such, they woke up with equally horrendous appearances and equally splitting headaches.

Needless to say, they were not at their peak selves when Sirius had all but stumbled down the stairs and Remus had nearly splinched himself apparating to Grimmauld Place.

"Dear God, man, pull yourself together!" came the sharp, albeit joking, reprimand of one brazen redhead by the name of Charlie Weasley. Not that Sirius would have known, seeing as they had never met before. He simply sneered at the 'intruder' in his home and staggered to the kitchen for a cup of black coffee and lemon, a hangover remedy he knew far and well.

"Remus!" was the greeting he heard from Tonks as, he assumed, Remus arrived at the doorstep. Sinking deeper into the chair, he very nearly buried his nose into his coffee while he hoped that Remus decided to stay upstairs. He slowly and surely consumed his drink, feeling his vision settling down, before he got up out of his seat and braced himself to face his ex-lover, hoping on the star that was his namesake that he looked presentable enough. He may have decided not take any actions to get back together with the werewolf, but he'd be damned before he took any actions to further push said werewolf away.

To his surprise, Remus himself looked less presentable than he usually was. His normally impeccable attire was casually, if not haphazardly thrown on. His hair was mussed enough to let Sirius know that he had just rolled out of bed and did not bother to run a brush through it. There were bags under his eyes that were only found on him after a full moon, and the slur in his voice told Sirius that barely a night had passed after he had gone drinking. He rushed right over and grabbed his comrade around the shoulders.

"Moony" he frowned, concern blending into his voice. Remus blinked owlishly at him.

"Oh, hullo, Siri" he greeted, "Let me intro _-hic- _duce you to Charles and William Weasley. Molly and _-hic-_ Arthur's two oldest sons." Extending out his arm, he gestured toward the two redheads standing in the center of the parlor. Sirius nodded politely in their general direction, but he was more concerned with getting his friend into the kitchen to splash some water on his face and give him a mug of coffee and lemon.

"You're drunk, Moony" the ex-convict needlessly pointed out, as he handed the drunk man a steaming mug. Remus giggled softly. He _giggled_! Clearly, Sirius had just spoken an understatement.

"You just might be right, Si _-hic-_ Siri. Fancy that." To that Sirius playfully shoved him.

"You're dead drunk and you still manage to take the mickey out of me? Well, that just won't do would it?" he half-heartedly attempted to pull Remus's drink away but the werewolf gracelessly held it out of reach.

"Oh no you don't! Mine!" he shot back, childishly shoving Sirius away. The animagus smiled fondly and took a seat at the chair opposite his slowly-sobering ex-lover, resting his chin on top of his folded arms on the table. They spent the next few minutes that way. Remus regaining his angst-ridden senses while Sirius watching him do so. Amber eyes shut as their owner sipped the coffee, grateful that his brain could properly focus and that his tongue was no longer about ten sizes larger. When he finally opened his eyes, he found himself drawn to the calm gray orbs of his best friend. "Hello, Sirius" he greeted with a grateful smile, much more gentlemanly this time.

"Hey, Moons" Sirius greeted right back, though his lips were devoid of a similar stretch. He straightened up to watch Remus fidget slightly. The werewolf volunteered nothing, but waited for the question which came soon enough. "You're drunk." Well, it was more of a statement.

"Were" he correctly, carefully sidestepping the question. He knew, however, he wouldn't be able to avoid it totally.

"Are, were, same difference. That doesn't answer my question, though. Why were you drunk?"

"Ah, much better" Remus tried again, lacing his words with a half-hearted teasing tone, "Proper questions deserve proper answers."

"May I assume it has something to do with the cretin who sullies your bed?" Sirius frowned.

"Why Sirius, I didn't know Azkaban teaches vocabulary lessons" the werewolf made a last attempt at humor and sipped the final remnants of his hangover cure. Sirius stood up sharply, knocking over his chair, and slammed his fist on the table hard.

"Dammit, Remus!" he growled, "Why won't you just tell me what the fuck's wrong instead of getting all prissy?!" The werewolf simply shut his eyes and breathed in deeply while Sirius continued his tirade. "I know you like the back of my hand and no matter how shitty you feel, you'd never drown yourself in alcohol, especially if you knew something important would be coming up."

"That is where you're wrong, Sirius" Remus finally murmured, "You _knew_ me like the back of your hand. You, however, no longer do." Sirius frowned. "I'll only go so far as to say that, yes, Severus is involved in this. However, he is not at fault whatsoever." To that, the animagus muttered something unintelligible. "This is our problem and we will deal with it ourselves as mature adults do. You have no right and no business interfering with us."

"At least tell me. Let me help you figure something out" the ex-convict replied, "That's what friends do don't they?"

"I'm afraid that you can be of no help in this, Sirius, neither as a friend and most especially as an ex-lover" Remus held up his hand to signal the end of the conversation before Sirius was able to get in a word edgewise. Instead, he silently fumed. "Now, we best get upstairs, I believe the others have all arrived." As they started their way toward the stairs, a cold voice resonated downwards and a dark figure filled the doorway.

"How utterly darling. Our two favorite puppies enjoying a beautiful breakfast together."


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for all the reviews!!! =D

*****

"How utterly darling. Our two favorite puppies enjoying a beautiful breakfast together."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Sirius remarked scathingly at his nemesis who now blocked their path. Severus scoffed haughtily and refused to budge from his position at the top of the stairs. In retaliation, Sirius sniffed the air for show. "Or is that a different, more _malodorous _scent you are wearing? May I recommend a change in the fragrance you use?"

"Oh do grow up, Black" the potions master shot back coolly, "and hurry up with it before you get us all killed." Remus touched Sirius's arm warningly, reminding him not to take the bait. This allowed Severus to shoot them another glare and stalk off with a parting "Hurry up, fools, the meeting is about to start." Annoyed, Sirius unconsciously jerked his arm away from Remus and he stomped off in a more graceless fashion than Severus had. With a tired sigh, the werewolf quickly followed.

"Welcome friends" Albus greeted politely as soon as the door to the study shut. Everyone had noted, however, that his greeting lacked its usual warmth and humor. And, because of that, backs straightened, noise drew down and ears perked up in attention to the updates regarding the war that was quietly brewing. "An undoubtedly malevolent occurrence is happening in Hogwarts this year and I am afraid I have no power either as headmaster nor simply as a wizard to stop it." That line drew startled whispers. Albus Dumbledore? Powerless? "Hogwarts, as you know, is hosting the Triwizard Tournament. We have invited Beauxbatons Academy of Magic and their headmistress Madame Olympe Maxime and Durmstrang Institute and their headmaster Igor Karkaroff as fellow participants."

"Karkaroff?!" came Sirius's outraged cry, "You let him into Hogwarts while my godson is in there?!"

"Sirius, please, we have much more pressing matters than a turned Death Eater" Albus replied in an effort to calm the raging animagus.

"You may have saintlike abilities to forgive and forget, Albus, but I do not! No Death Eater deserves a second chance" the ex-convict hissed and before anybody could say anything, he pointedly glared at Severus and added "Not one."

"You're feelings have been taken into consideration on this matter and, rest assured, Albus would do everything in his power to kick Durmstrang out of Hogwarts, only because you, oh mighty one, say so" Severus sarcastically retorted.

"See to it that he does" Sirius shot back.

"Sirius! Sit _down_!" Remus suddenly growled, tugging the dog animagus back down onto his seat, to which he received a pointed glare. Severus looked smug and Sirius jut wanted to punch him in the face.

"Children, please" Albus scolded gently, before turning back to the rest of the Order members. "The goblet of fire has chosen the champions. Fleur Delacour from Beauxbatons, Viktor Krum from Durmstrang and, from Hogwarts, Cedric Diggory--" Sirius let out a sigh of relief. For a moment there, he expected Albus to say Harry's name.

"--and Harry Potter."

"WHAT?!" came yells from around the room, Sirius and Remus's louder than the rest.

"What the hell happened to the 'tri' in 'triwizard'?" Bill asked. Albus held up a hand to quiet everyone down while Alastor [1] explained the situation to them.

"Well, there you have it! A former Death Eater in Hogwarts's halls and everything, including a powerful magical object, goes haywire! How much more proof do you need?!" Sirius all but screeched after Alastor had finished relaying what he, Albus and Severus had figured out, which was just about nothing. Remus pressed his fingers to his temples in annoyance. Being the person sitting beside the raging lunatic, he took the brunt of the volume.

"Sirius, I believe you are acting on emotion. We do not have any proof at all. We can only speculate" came wise words from Kingsley. That quieted Sirius down, only because he'd rather not get into a squabble with someone he barely knew. Especially since the other person was right.

"Thank you, Kingsley. Yes, I'm afraid that is the case now; we can only speculate. However, as a precautionary measure, I believe those of us residing in Hogwarts should keep a wary eye out for suspicious movements from Karkaroff as well as look out for Harry's well being as he is clearly the target in this plot" Albus said, while several members nodded in agreement.

"I believe we are called 'Order of the Phoenix,' not 'Order of Harry Potter'" Severus muttered.

"Say something, did you, _Death Eater_?" Sirius sneered. The potions master slammed his fists on the table and stood up. In a second, swifter movement, he drew his wand pointed it at Sirius's face. Clearly, he was fed up with Sirius's taunts. Sirius drew his own wand, uncaring toward the one pointed at his nose.

"STOP IT! Both of you!" Remus bellowed. They reluctantly dropped their stances and sat back down, eyes still trained on each other, daring the other to move. No one but Albus dared to break the tension.

"We shall divide into teams and put constant surveillance on known Death Eaters. Any suspicious activity and we shall again congregate to discuss further strategies to take. For now, that is all." Assignments were handed out before the members slowly made their way out of the house. Unlike the first meeting, many did not stay to fraternize. Sirius stayed behind waiting for a chance to speak with Dumbledore alone regarding Harry. As such, he watched Remus rise from his seat and make his way to the rapidly departing figure of Severus. It seemed as thought Remus had not fully recovered from his hangover as the steps he took were gracefully shaky. It was like doing a perfect waltz on the deck of a ship caught in a storm. Nevertheless, the werewolf caught up with the former Death Eater by the entrance hallway.

"Sev" he called. The Slytherin had known he was being followed but only then did he acknowledge Remus's presence. He stopped but chose not to face his lover.

"You're drunk, Remus" he remarked off-handedly, "There was only one thing I admired you for back at school, and that was your ability to keep your self-control intact despite being constantly over-exposed to the insane likes of James Potter and Sirius Black. Now..." he trailed off, leaving his next few words open for interpretation.

"You are acting on the premise that I still love Sirius" Remus replied softly to the unspoken words. Surprisingly, he was right on track. To that, Severus whirled around and yelled:

"You called his name out in the middle of _sex_! What am I _supposed_ to think?!" The werewolf hung his head in shame and muttered softly.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking straight. There were too many thoughts running through my head and they managed to pick the worst possible time to resurface" was his reply. It was a pathetic excuse and he knew Severus wouldn't buy one word of it. He vaguely wondered if it would have been better had he not given any explanation at all. He watched the boot of his lover peek out from beneath the black robes.

"I shall not refute you, but I will assume that you know I can see through that lie" Severus whispered. Remus bit his lip and shut his eyes.

"Severus, please."

"Run back to your little doggy, Remus, and allow me the childish satisfaction of having broken up with you before you could leave me for him." With that, he turned around sharply, and headed for the door. "Thrice now" he murmured just before exiting, "thrice now has a person I cared for very deeply been stolen away by a person I greatly despise." Then he disappeared through the doorway and apparated, presumably, back to Hogwarts with a telltale 'pop.' Remus sank to his knees, feeling an icy hand grip his heart and tear a large chunk out.

True, if someone really loved you, they would forgive you for every small wrongdoing, but Severus wasn't just anybody. Due to past events in his life, when it came to love, he was rarely trusting and he was always on the defensive. The first incident he spoke about was James "stealing" Lily from him. The second was Voldemort "stealing" Lily's life. And now, Remus was the third, "stolen" by Sirius. He no longer wanted to be hurt, that much Remus knew.

Remus had no doubt that Severus loved him as much as he loved Severus.

That was what pained him the most.

*****

[1] Okay, I wrote the first few chapters before I foresaw the problem regarding Moody being an Order member and having his body being taken over by Crouch Jr. Clearly, if he didn't attend Order meetings, Dumbledore would know something was up, destroying the entire GoF plot, which I didn't want to do. Also, if Dumbledore informed the fake Moody about Order meetings, then Voldie would know about it too, destroying the plots of the next three books =S

In any case, I decided that the GoF culprit would be Karkaroff or someone unimportant. Not really sure, but it was definitely not Moody. In any case, it wouldn't harm the plot of the fic too much even if I don't explain it well.

Hope this clears some stuff up =)


	9. Chapter 9

I'm soooo sorry for not having updated this in a looooooong while. I was (am) quite busy with work and various ideas keep popping up into my head every so often, which resulted in me working on three fics at the same time (shameless plug: '**Control Issues**' and '**Saving You**').

In any case, here's the next chapter. I hope this would be worthy enough of your time to garner some reviews :)

*****

Remus looked utterly despondent.

Sirius would have described him as 'mopey' if the situation wasn't as serious as it was right now. No, Sirius wasn't stupid; he knew what had happened, as did every other Order member. In all honesty, he could've danced a jig when Tonks told him last week about Remus and Severus's little episode out in the foyer a little over two weeks ago, but he wasn't entirely too pleased with the outcome himself.

These last two weeks, Remus had not come over at all even for something as simple as 'to hang out'. Sirius meant it when he said he would be glad if he were in Remus's life even for something as simple as being just friends, but right now he wasn't even given that opportunity. He supposed he _should_ understand; he had just broken up with his long-time lover after all. But as the realization of the situation dawned on the animagus more and more, he was soon desperately craving for every chance he got to subtly woo his husband into his arms again.

Sirius had never been so glad for an Order meeting in his life as it helped him gain the chance to talk to Remus once again. But the werewolf looked so utterly miserable as he sat across the ex-convict and a noticeably fair distance away from his ex-lover, his eyes staring down into his folded hands, that Sirius doubted his actions of pouncing on his fragile heart.

Hours were spent in the study and Sirius soon found his legs and backside aching as Dumbledore finally announced a close to their meeting. It was an arduous one, seeing as the first Triwizard task was nearly upon them and they had to strategize as to how to protect Harry. Sirius could barely care less. Not because he didn't care for Harry, God, no. But only because he would, once again, play no part in the activities they had planned. Such was the curse of being an convict on the run. Instead, he focused all his attention on coming up with his own strategies to win back the werewolf's heart.

Amongst the slight confusion of people shuffling out of the room, Sirius caught sight of Remus hesitantly following Severus toward the back of the house where there were less people. He followed them as well, intent on staying hidden.

"Sev" his love's voice called out. He heard Severus stop walking and he sneaked a peek. Severus turned to Remus, a scowl upon his lips and pain in his eyes.

"'Snape', Lupin. 'Snape' to you" he corrected coldly. Remus winced but pressed on, daring a step toward the potions master.

"You haven't even given me a chance..." he murmured helplessly.

"To what, Remus? To explain? To beg? To _what_?!" Remus visibly steeled himself and gathered all the hypothetical Gryffindor courage he possessed before stalking forward and pulling Severus toward him. In contrast to his action, the kiss he bestowed on Severus's lips was tender and gentle and he tried to convey as much love in it as he possessed for the Hogwarts professor. Sirius was faintly surprised to see Severus responding but all his doubts that Remus and Severus getting back together were destroyed when Severus stroked Remus's cheek and said, "Was that to show me you love me or to confirm that you do not?" Remus did not reply. "I have dealt with matters of the heart before and I shall do so again. Do not worry too much about me, it is yourself would should worry about. Did I not teach you that you should rely on no one else but yourself?"

"Severus, please" Remus whispered. Severus kissed him, much too tenderly, much too lovingly in Sirius's opinion.

"Take care of yourself, Remus" he said before passing him to head toward the front of the house. As he turned the corner, Severus stopped in front of Sirius. They stood silent for a moment as they listened to Remus open and shut the back door to apparate home. Tension filled the space around them as they mentally debated on how to acknowledge each other. Finally, Severus broke the silence with a harsh whisper. "I may just about have given up all the claim I may have on him, but I would be _damned_ if I ever find him as broken up as he was back then. If you hurt him, I will hunt you down and carve every inch of skin off your body with a rusty bread knife. And believe me, Black, I will love every second of it."

"I'll make him happier than you ever did" Sirius snarled in response but Severus started walking.

"I expect you to" was the last thing Sirius heard from Severus before the potions master disappeared from his view. Calming down immensely, Sirius frowned and stared in the direction Severus had gone. That was the strangest encounter he had ever had with his mortal enemy, even after years and years of pranking. It was almost... touching. They had certainly come a long way from Hogwarts. Sure, the hatred they harbored for one another was still there, ever present, but they had clearly grown up.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, he realized he had forgotten the real reason he followed Remus. He hadn't been able to tell his ex-lover that he wanted the werewolf to use the cellar this full moon. He had spent the longest time working on it, even reluctantly enlisting the help of Tonks. Being cooped up in Azkaban ensured that he wasn't as well-versed with spells as he should have been and reading only took him so far. However, when they had finished setting up the spells just last night, even Tonks, who barely knew Remus, was convinced that he would love it.

The animagus silently debated how to get word to Remus. Oh sure, an owl would be the easiest way, but Remus could just as easily decline. No, Sirius wanted to do this personally. He peered back into the house and, making sure that no one was in need of him, he pulled open the back door, stepped out of the house and immediately apparated to Remus's kitchen to avoid possible exposure.

A sound of broken china tinkling on the floor drew his attention to the stunned werewolf.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, running to the windows to shut the curtains. After he had done so, he whirled around to Sirius. "What are you _doing_ here?!"

"You were avoiding me" Sirius stated plainly, crossing his arms over his chest. Remus looked away, worrying his lower lip in a way that had Sirius visibly restraining himself from grabbing the werewolf and 'worrying' his lip for him.

"I... I had to deal with some... things" the werewolf murmured softly. All Sirius wanted to do was to hold his lover and kiss him till he forgot all of his troubles. Knowing that he shouldn't, though, he simply replied:

"You said that we could still remain friends, but we aren't even that right now. Friends talk to each other, spend time with each other. Not avoid each other like one of them had, I don't know, _fleas_ or something." That drew a small smile from Remus and Sirius gave a mental whoop of joy. "Even then, said friend should _tell_ his friend if fleas _were_,in fact,the reason he was avoiding him."

"They might be" Remus replied, his smile widening just a little bit further. Sirius dared take the few steps toward him to punch him lightly on the shoulder.

"Prick" he grinned, leaning back against the kitchen counter beside his best friend. "You still won't talk to me about him?"

"I had a feeling you knew about it..." Remus mumbled before sighing, "Sirius, I--" But Sirius held up a hand to cut him off.

"Moony, the whole Order knows about it. You weren't exactly being subtle about it, you know" he pointed out wryly, "If you really don't want to talk about it with me, that's fine, but please don't shut me out. I want to be a part of your life and I want you to be a part of mine, or what's left of my life anyway."

"I'm sorry..." Remus responded, giving no explanation of any sort.

"I want you to come to my house for the full moon" Sirius said, turning to him. Remus looked up in surprise. "I've set up the cellar where we can transform." He caught sight of Remus's unsure look and added, "Don't worry. I'm not being careless; I've already prepped the place. It's probably as good as, if not better, than the place you've got right now."

"You don't even know _where_ I transform. How do you know your place is better?" Sirius grinned widely.

"Because I'm there." He took advantage of Remus's look of incredulity to snatch a kiss and apparate back to the doorstep of Grimmauld Place and dart inside. He grinned once more as he leaned back against the door, picturing Remus's surprised look.

_Soon, soon_ he told himself with a happy sigh.

*****

Reviews please? It'll help speed up the process of updating :D (Blackmail? I think not. Just giving you incentive to review :P)


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry for the uber long delay... I've finally found some time to force myself to sit down and finish this fic. *sigh* Hope you like it, for what its worth.

*****

He was being completely and utterly stupid.

That was the intelligent conclusion he came up with about his standing on the doorstep ten minutes too long, looking at the doorknob and hesitating to touch it for the sole reason of fearing the events that would come next.

Again. Stupid.

Within the span of the ten minutes spent on the stoop, Remus had decided that the events to follow his opening of the door were not something to be feared. With a sigh, Remus reached for the elegantly engraved doorknob and pushed the oak door open, no longer wincing at the shrieks of Sirius's deranged mother's equally deranged portrait, Sirius having shut the curtains a while back with permanent sticking charms and all that (and no, that wasn't the event he feared).

It wasn't spending the full moon in a different house that he was wary of. It wasn't even spending the full moon in a different house that he was not entirely sure had adequate protection spells from the beast that would surely be unleashed from within him. Although he had to admit that not coming in to check a bit earlier was a stupid mistake on his part and that he would just have to deal with the consequences that would follow, should there be any.

He was pretty sure that he was afraid of.. or rather _for_ the company he was sure to have this evening.

Remus may have forgiven Sirius for abandoning him for thirteen years, but he wasn't entirely sure that Moony was just as forgiving of Padfoot. For that, the werewolf was hesitant of accepting Sirius's offer of spending the night, no matter how confident the animagus seemed to be. But then Sirius had always been much too confident for his own good, much too arrogant and bull-headed of things that should be treaded upon lightly. Remus had always taken it upon himself to follow the crazed mutt around, helping him out of serious situations if and when he found himself in them.

Maybe it was that which made him arrive at Grimmauld at precisely 5:30 in the afternoon.

Or maybe it was the addictive nostalgia of their days as the Marauders that Sirius's confidence and his over-protectiveness seemed to evoke.

Remus was certain it was the latter of the two, but he liked to think that it was definitely the former. With that in mind, he called for his best friend while hanging up his coat.

"Hey, Rem," Sirius murmured against his ear, his warm breath washing over the chilly appendage sending shivers down Remus's spine. _Because of the temperature difference_, the werewolf tried to convince himself, knowing full well that it wasn't. How long he planned to stay in denial, he wasn't sure.

"Hey," he responded equally softly, refusing to turn around and look into the eyes he once spent hours memorizing. Sirius didn't seem to mind as he stepped just a bit closer and linked their hands together, the back of Remus's hand in his palm. Slowly, he drew it up to his lips and pressed a kiss in the center of his ex-husband's palm. The werewolf allowed himself a soft exhale of breath just before Sirius suddenly and roughly pulled him from the doorway, earning him a surprised yelp.

"Come on. There's something I've got to show you," was all his explanation as he hauled the disoriented werewolf down to the kitchens then through a dark and narrow passageway and even lower to what Remus could only assume was the cellar. They had to stoop slightly to fit through the tunnel which gave Remus the idea that probably only house elves came this way. Inadvertently clutching Sirius's hand tighter, he hoped they wouldn't step on any dead house elves bones. Surprisingly, even though the passage was dark, small and dank, it was rather clean. It ended with a small wooden door at the very end, reminiscent of those of medieval peasant houses.

"Close your eyes," Sirius grinned, though he covered the amber orbs with his hands before the werewolf had a chance to do so himself. Remus heard the door squeak open and shut before he was lead down some stairs. Eight steps he counted. Mentally imagining what the cellar would appear like (he assumed that's what Sirius had prepared for him to transform in), he allowed Sirius to guide him further before they stopped. "It's just about ready, but had I finished before you came, I'd lose the surprise," the animagus whispered. Remus could hear the triumphant note in his voice and was just about to remark on it when the ex-convict released his eyes.

While Sirius quickly waved his wand in complicated motions and murmured a few incantations, the werewolf could do no more than let out a small gasp as he took in the room before him. The cellar was magically enlarged to about twice its size and height, the walls and high ceilings of dark gray stone barely visible in the dim lighting. But that wasn't what caught Remus's attention. Instead of a dank cellar, the werewolf was standing in the middle of a tiny field with a miniature version of the Forbidden Forest in front of him. The sounds of the forest at night permeated the air, and the perfume from the trees wafted toward him.

"It's not yet done by any means. I'm still working on putting a charm on the ceiling and walls so that they'd look like the night sky. Just like the Great Hall," Sirius explained, gesturing broadly to the visible stones. Remus gaped like a fish out of water before he recovered his dignity and turned to his ex.

"Since when have you been planning this?" he asked. Sirius smiled softly and stroked his cheek.

"Since forever," he murmured, dipping his head lower to kiss the werewolf. Suddenly, Remus pushed him back roughly, sending him sprawling onto the grass. "Wh—what?!" he spluttered indignantly, but the former DADA professor was crouched on the ground, both arms wrapped around himself.

"Sirius, get _out_," he hissed as his bones started cracking. He let out a wail before a sudden shriek, and Sirius quickly made his way back up the steps. He slammed the door shut behind him and set the protective spells before pressing his back against the wood. His breath caught in his throat as he heard Remus's screams. Only then did he realize how unprepared he was to handle Remus. He'd been gone for so long, he hardly remembered how it was to be with a werewolf. He only hoped that Moony remembered who he was or, more importantly, what he was to Moony.

Nearly thirty minutes had gone by and Remus's screams faded into howls and bays. Sirius took that as his cue to transform and nudge the door open to slip inside. He couldn't see Moony anywhere on the field, so he assumed the werewolf was lurking around the trees. He stood by the stairs, waiting for the dark creature to emerge, unwilling to go and search for it. Not a few minutes later, Moony emerged from the woods, sniffing the air before catching sight of Padfoot.

An uneasy silence settled and Padfoot fidgeted nervously. He didn't make a move for fear of agitating the tense creature. Slowly, Moony stalked closer, circling the dog and sniffing its scent. He wasn't confused for even a second; he knew who the dog was. That didn't deter him from attacking, though.

Padfoot gave a startled yelp as Moony tackled him, teeth gnashing dangerously at his neck. The dog struggled to fend of the frenzied creature and barely managed to throw him off. Moony was, by far, larger than Padfoot and while the dog had been stronger back in the old days, his weakened human state affected his strength. The canines warred furiously. Sirius knew that he had to win; more than pride was at stake. He had to assert his dominance over the werewolf, to regain his place as the alpha of the pack. This allowed him to keep Moony in check more carefully than if the werewolf were the alpha.

Moony's teeth ripped through his skin in various places, but instead of weakening him, it caused a surge of adrenaline to pump through his veins. He tackled the werewolf violently before biting down on the neck of the writhing werewolf. Moments later, the creature calmed down enough for Padfoot to let him go. Padfoot growled softly, warning Moony from trying anything more. The werewolf laid down on the ground submissively before looking up to see why Padfoot wasn't doing the same. The dog sized up the werewolf but eventually followed suit.

While both animals spent the night simply sitting in silence, Sirius thanked his lucky stars that he had managed to subdue the werewolf despite all evidences to the contrary. When the morning came, Sirius stepped out of the cellar once more only to return with some healing salves and a robe for Remus.

*****

"Hey," came the soft greeting from the kitchen doorway. Sirius looked up from his coffee to see Remus rubbing at his bleary eyes. The animagus had taken Remus to bed a few hours ago and had forced him to take a nap to hasten the healing of his injuries.

"Hey," he returned, moving to make Remus his own cup of coffee while the werewolf sunk onto a chair, resting his forearms on the table and pressing his forehead onto them. It was mid-afternoon, but it still felt like it was early in the morning. The soft tinkling of a spoon hitting the sides of a mug prompted Remus to look up at his former lover before gratefully accepting the mug of steaming coffee. They spent the next few minutes in a comfortable silence while Remus finished off the cup and Sirius watched him.

"Stop that," the werewolf murmured.

"Stop what?" Sirius cheekily returned.

"That. Staring at me." Sirius shrugged but ignored his request. Remus opted to ignore him as well and simply stared out the window.

"Your arm feeling better?" the ex-convict eventually asked. He received a short nod in reply, so he asked again, "And your leg?"

"Doesn't hurt..." Remus paused, "Or at least it doesn't hurt as much as it used to." Their eyes met and Sirius slowly made his way around the table. That's when the werewolf caught sight of Sirius's injuries: a patched-up wound on his neck and a scratch on his cheek. His eyes widened almost comically before he scrambled to his feet as started pulling off Sirius's shirt. The animagus obeyed silently, allowing Remus to check him over. "Siri-- I..." the former professor whispered, his hands ghosting over the healing wounds on his chest and arms.

"Don't worry about it," Sirius finally replied, pulling Remus closer to him in an embrace. The tense man slowly relaxed as Sirius held him close.

"I could have killed you..." Remus murmured, "Or worse, I could have turned you..."

"If you did, we could have more fun together during the full moons," the animagus teased, causing Remus to shove him roughly.

"Don't even _joke _about things like that!" the werewolf practically yelled. Sirius grabbed his upper arms before he could move out of reach then held him close once more, rubbing circles around his back and whispering calming words in his ear until he felt the other man relax once more.

"I'm sorry; you're right. I shouldn't have joked about that," Sirius murmured. "But you shouldn't worry about these; you couldn't turn me if I'm in dog form even if you tried. Besides, I'm not entirely guilt-free of injuring you." He traced his index finger lightly over the wounds he had inflicted on the werewolf during their brief brawl. He stopped, however, once he reached the small bite marks and bruises around Remus's neck. To the werewolf's surprise, Sirius dipped his head to lick the injuries. All he could do was hold still and whimper while his husband lowered him down to lie on the table.

Sirius didn't linger too long around his neck. He made his way up the side of Remus's face, over his forehead and down his nose. He paused briefly to look into the amber pools that were Remus's eyes before pressing a soft and tentative kiss on his lips.

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. They exchanged moans as their bodies heated up and their hips rocked against each other's. Slowly and reluctantly, they drew apart.

"Remus," Sirius started, "I can't give you up again..." The werewolf's heart nearly broke at the tone of his voice as the animagus pressed his face to his neck. "Please don't make me..." he begged, his voice slightly muffled. Remus pulled him up so that their eyes locked once more. He pressed a kiss to his husband's lips before answering.

"I couldn't sign the papers, Pad," he admitted before stealing another kiss, "I saw your signature, and I just... I couldn't... I'm sorry for everything... I won't make you give up on us because... because I can't either." Sirius's eyes shone. He dipped his head for another kiss which Remus greedily accepted. When lack of air became an issue, Sirius pulled away but pressed his forehead to his husband's.

"I love you. I always have, and I always will," he confessed, his warm breath washing over Remus's face. The werewolf stole another kiss.

"I love you, too," he replied. Moments passed until Sirius hauled Remus to his feet, surprising the smaller man.

"Come with me," he murmured with a smile. Remus allowed himself to be led through the house to Sirius's old bedroom, wondering what his husband was up to. The brunet rummaged through his old belongings before pulling out a blindfold and wrapping it over his husband's eyes.

"What are you doing?" the werewolf asked, slightly alarmed. Based on his personal experience, being blindfolded by an enthusiastic Sirius did not often result in good things happening. He heard Sirius murmur a whole bunch of incantations and felt things fly by him. Patiently, he waited for Sirius to surprise him once more which the animagus eventually did as he removed the blindfold.

With a startled gasp, he saw that Sirius had transfigured the items in the room to make it look like a chapel of sorts. What he couldn't transfigure was covered with swaths of fabric. The most startling, though, was that around them hung many enlarged pictures of James and Lily waving and smiling at the camera. Sirius smiled proudly before taking both of Remus's hands in his. Remus whipped his head around to look into the shining silver eyes.

"Remus, with you I feel complete. You brought magic to my life, and I look forward to making each other happy, always. No matter what life brings, I know we will always have each other. Our love is rare. I only wish you had talked some sense into me earlier. [1]" Remus wasn't doubtful for one second: Sirius recited with perfect clarity and a perfect memory their vows from so many years ago. He chuckled softly at the last line, remembering the story behind it. His own eyes glowed beautifully as he answered perfectly.

"Sirius, wonderful things happen to those who keep trying. Since the first time I met you, I wanted to make you happy, even when you drive me up the wall with your crazy, inane, harebrained pranks. Now your happiness is my guide, and I will love you for every second of the rest of my life."

*****

DONE!!! Finally!!! I'm so happy to have completed my **second** chaptered fic. Second! Can you believe that?! =D

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. I'd also like to thank Darcy Miller and Andrew Nussbaum whose vows I borrowed (stole). No idea who they are, but I loved the vows. Saw them on the Martha Stewart website. (I was pretty damn lazy not to write my own vows.) I modified them a bit, especially the names (it would have been odd for Sirius to call Remus 'Andrew', but I guess it would be understandable. He is Sirius after all =D)

In any case, there. That's a wrap.

I'd like to invite you all to read my other fics. I'm in the process of completing '**Control Issues**.' Hope to read your reviews there as well! =D


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